Blessed brother of mine

It was approximately a month an a half since my brother passed. I found myself at the airport heading back to visit my mother. As I prepared to board my flight, I felt good and thought of nothing as I played a game of solitaire on my cell phone. I began to board and I walked down the dreaded cramped hallway on the plane looking for my seat. There I faced a sea of unfamiliar faces. Most were oblivious to everything that surrounded them. Some sat semi comfortably and simply looked at people as they passed by. I often wondered what they thought as each person passed by, one by one.

When I reached my seat, I found a spot were my bag would fit perfectly and received unsolicited assistance from a young man in his seventies. He was obviously raised in a different era, with the manners of a gentleman. My bag was midsized backpack with enough clothing for two days. I truly did not need the assistance yet I thanked him anyway as any lady should.

I sat down and began to feel sad, you see my last trip was to be with my family after my younger brother passed away. Suddenly the events of that day and a day prior rushed at me like freight train going off track and down a mountain. I refer to this mountain as the mountain of memories. I could feel the tears wanting to push through the rough tough steel wall of my persona. Truth is tears have not flowed though the these eyes in a long time, especially in front of people. The tendency for people like me is to go deep into a lonely tunnel and when completely alone in my cave of sadness and fear, the tears flow like a waterfall in the desert. When the water can flow no more, a deep breath rushes in like a cool breeze through the midnight sun. Then and only then, can I walk toward the ray of sunlight in the darkness and see beyond my sorrow.

As I sat, nestled in my window side seat looking beyond the clouds that appeared to be bellow us like a sea of fluffy cotton, I was deep in thought. I thought of all the blessings in my life. Even though my life is filled with struggles and worry, but who doesn't have that. I know my worries are not so much because of how I have lived but because of who I have loved and what a blessing to have loved and been loved. The memories of the that sad, helpless, and heartbreaking day, humble me and without denial have dropped me to my knees exposing what some may view as a weakness.

Then, as if a sign from above, I hear ever so clearly a voice that says, "Cast your burdens on me child, for I have a plan for you" and with that my heart is filled with love and gratitude. There are no words that can ever came close to how blessed we are each and everyday.

As we landed, I opened my eyes and smiled. I am home again if even for a day or two. I now do not say that I am heartbroken anymore. I now say that my heart is filled, so full of great memories and love for those I have lost and the lives they have lived but most importantly that they had a part in my life and for that I am grateful beyond any words, beyond any expression could ever express. There is hope in faith, wounds do heal, hearts do mend, and life does go on.

In loving memory of Randy Esparza
11/17/1994 - 8/4/2012

Written by Monica Cruz Duperon Rodriguez
October 16, 2012

Book Review“The Importance of Being Lazy, In Praise of Play, Leisure, and Vacations” by Al Gini

Review “The Importance of Being Lazy, In Praise of Play, Leisure, and Vacations” by Al Gini

Get up, it’s five in the morning and it’s time to start your day. The kids have to get up, get dressed, have breakfast, and go to school. You must also get dressed, make breakfast, maybe have some, and then you have to leave for that thing called a job.  Americans work too much according to the author of the book The Importance of Being Lazy.  The author, Al Gini, has authored several other books, Why It’s Hard to be Good, Seeking the truth in things, and My Job, My Self,  to name a few. Gini is also a Professor of Business Ethics at Loyola University in Chicago, Illinois and is a voice heard over the airwaves on a National Public Radio Station. The book The Importance of Being Lazy is available on the Amazon Kindle and makes for an easy book to pick up and enjoy. Gini’s thesis mentioned in the prologue states, “…even if we love our jobs and find creativity, success, and pleasure in our work, we also crave, desire, and need not to work….” Gini merely points out what many Americans are heard saying however make excuses as to why they can’t. The voices of people saying, “I need a vacation!” and “Is it five o clock yet?” echo throughout each state and every type of work environment. What happened to taking that vacation and just soaking in the sun? It almost seems like a foreign concept.

            The chapters in the book make it easy to follow with chapters on vacation and traveling, mini vacations, shopping, leisure, sports, and include an entire chapter on religion.  The Narrative is a bit informal, which is great for a book club discussion or a simple reminder to take a “wellness day” (the opposite of a sick day). We humans, in general, have lost the capacity of resting. We worry so much that even when on vacation, we don’t know how to rest. Gini describes himself as a “workaholic”, which by definition means slave or very hard worker. There are several personal examples in the book about Gini and his experiences. These examples give the reader the feeling of being engaged in a conversation with Gini and in many cases note a parallel in one’s own life.

            According to Gini, the problem is really not where people go on vacation or what they do on vacation; it is that we do too much on vacations. We stay too busy and rarely get into sync with oneself.  People need solitude to center and focus on self. To get in touch with the self, is needed to self discover and self compass. Gini gives several reasons why it is important to stop being so busy and start focusing on the self to create the best self there can be. Gini suggest that vacations need to be about self rejuvenation and time for solitude to gain a deeper understanding on the self. Humans need and should require time alone, to reflect, and to focus. He suggests that vacations and time alone should not be considered a privilege but that it should be a necessity and a requirement. Gini quotes Freud, “we flee from or avoid solitude and reflection and seek distraction rather than insight, merriment rather than meaning” There is a scary and disturbing truth to this statement. Why are we so afraid to look at ourselves in the mirror, figuratively speaking, and look at ways that we could change ourselves to become a better version of ourselves? In truth, this type of reflection can be done without going on a vacation, or seeking time away. This type of reflection can be accomplished by simply waking up thirty minutes earlier and use this time to seek a better version of ourselves. Vacation on the other hand can be and should be time to be with family. Forget the cell phones, the Ipads, Ipods, Kindles, and any other forms of electronic devices that connect us to the world. This is time that should be used to connect with the people who live with you, depend on you, and love you, day in and day out, no matter how busy one gets. The book, Importance of Being Lazy, is insightful and inspiring.

            Gini may have written this book for fun or as a simple reminder that life will pass us by no matter how we choose to live it. He simply made an attempt to bring to our attention the need to stop and for a moment just live a little.  It’s okay to be idle and soak in what surrounds us. The saying, “stop and smell the roses” is what comes to mind. So people wake up and start the day without taking notice of the beauty that surrounds us. Americans stay busy from morning to evening without taking a breath. It is time to change that practice and incorporate a little down time, a small moment each day to center ourselves. It is so easy to lose ourselves in the everyday grind. Schedule that family vacation and get away then enjoy this little thing called life. Just remember to leave that one person behind that has to schedule every activity, that has to dictate when and how things will be done. That person that will over-schedule you because they don’t know how to STOP! That person may be you! Gini’s point here is to be okay with doing absolutely nothing, reconnect with who you desired to be, who you have become, and where you want to go.

            The book is a clever, short, and fun read that could be shared with almost anyone. Then when you hear the voices of people saying, “I need a vacation!” and “Is it five o clock yet?” Remind them, that it really is okay to soak in the sun! It is okay to take that vacation and do nothing, and it’s okay to have a short moment to yourself. To plan absolutely nothing in that timeframe, and reconnect with self can be a profitable moment.